The years end heralds a time for completion and setting the ground with fertile soil. Happiness is not something that spins out of ether but one that requires cultivation, time and time again.
Tilling the soil, allowing for the new to emerge, allowing for growth and when that growth has been met, we then need to prune off what is no longer our source of integrity, beauty, well-being and happiness.
You ask anyone, What do you want? The number of times I get a response along the lines of ‘to be happy’. What the heck is that if you cannot be specific? Want to be excited? Loved? Fulfilled? Do well in my work? Be recognised? Happiness is a feeling. Is it anchored in love, spirit and true values? These are some keys to joy and happiness. Our core values and self-empowerment is at the central point to happiness.
Someone I know recently split from a four year relationship that has let her down in more ways than one, drowns her sorrow in a bottle of wine most days, because while she recognises her anger and frustration for all the things she has done and invested in (time and effort to help, support her male partner both at home and work for which he has been promoted) she is now filled with grief and rage, as she knows that she was the main contributory person in all the doing! Yet she still feels sorry for him and wants to pamper his recovery in the breakup!!?
Women are good at that. With a weak king or masculine side, they operate from the overt feminine, put on a brave front in the guise of love, nurturance, over giving, so your man can get on with the business of doing his work or business while the woman’s life is hijacked by his needs demands and whims, poor boy.
Following her unrequited love by her partner she then justifies her actions of embarking on an affair with a man who is her boss, married and with 4 year old child, all because she feels that she is seen and makes her feel good, despite knowing that it is morally wrong, nevertheless the pull to call upon ones egoic gratification seems to be stronger then her moral code of conduct and for the crash and burn that is likely to ensure and create havoc.
Through my readings, I find many similar tales. A budding woman in her prime, desperate to travel to Australia yet is hooked by her toxic boyfriends’ insecurity denying her the freedom to do so.
The husband who suffers from impotence and has yet to see the correlation of his passivity in his day to day actions, causing daily dramas in some shape or form, pushing and pulling with his wife’s emotions for sustenance and existence like a psychic vampire. And then he wonders why she is repelled by the idea of ‘going there’ when it has been nothing but a roller coast ride both in the bedroom and out. And of course smokes daily and drinks when he can, but oh no, that can’t have anything to do with it?
The woman who can’t seem to leave her lover knowing that he’s not the one or the one who seems to feel it is her mission to save him! ‘He only trusts me’, she proclaims, but she doesn’t know if she can trust him. Hmmm!
What each one of them has in common is to remain sitting in victimhood, the rescuer, the enabler, fulfilling another’s needs over one’s own. Rather than take full responsibility for nurturing their mind, body, soul, and spirit. Stepping up, seeking the right help, leaving what’s long gone, seeking treatment and of recognising the cause and effect of their actions.
Of course, it is always easier to blame another, make the other the wrong, creating dramas to be heard and seen. Letting the inner child rule! One can only take life and make it Sacred when we claim and decide to live it differently.
I have said this many a times, that life will have its challenges and opportunities for us to draw the line with whom we associate with, what we do, whom we remain to be with and when it is time to move on.
NO one can diminish our light. Our dreams, our wishes, and longings. Our intentions and goals are our own to craft and create but it needs to be SOUL based. This however also, is not a do it alone time, but joining in and collaborating with people without compromising who you are.
- Who do you want to be?
- How do you want to serve?
- What brings you joy?
- Where do boundaries need to be placed?
- How do you want to be treated?
- How do you want to feel?
- What kind of people are you going to let in your inner circle?
These decisions have to be based on where and how YOU want to feel and be.
This is how you carve out a Sacred Life. Not by another’s rule or thinking but your own. Your inner compass will never let you down. It will always serve you. At the very least your soul’s growth. It is true that when we make a shift in our energy, behaviour or actions it will and can irk people, call them up on their crap, bullshit and whatever, and they will I can assure you, stonewall you, diss you, keep you out, from their ‘tribe’, circle or community. They could go as far as humiliating you too. Remember it says more about them then it does you. Yes, it is hard to ignore and not take things to heart. They will play dirty to justify their stance. They could even try to hoodwink you to back down with their emotional bait.
Who are you to play so small, subject to another’s wounded ego? Do you really want these people, friends, employers, associates and partners in your life?
Why are people so afraid to let go or what’s causing them pain and clearly not working?
We all make blunders, fuck up, and probably have made seeming wrong decisions but have we really? I personally changed course several times this year, left situations and people who have attempted to disempower me, but postponing our empowerment is a heinous personal crime.
Nobody else can do it for you. Nobody can give it you, BUT YOURSELF.
I have met with numerous women throughout my work life, most of women and men with deep father or mother wounding, wrecking their own self-esteem and lives in the name of fear, blame and the inability to claim their sovereignty, stuck in a holding pattern or their old record playing over and over again. In a co-dependent scenario, or to a partner who is mean with emotions, childish, passive-aggressive, you name it! OMG! Being in competition for being threatened by another and then tearing them down. It’s rife and it’s all over the place.
In order to move on, we need to truly release certain allegiances. I am so into this empowerment work because I see at as the core of everything. Our happiness depends on it, our self-esteem, pride, joy, freedom, and liberation.
Build and place boundaries and stick with it!
In order to move on, we also need to release and clean house so to speak. Go through in a list form of all significant experiences, learnings, people, good, bad and the ugly on a sheet of paper, all and anything you wish to let go. A misunderstanding with a family member, for a friend who ghosted you, your love partner who has let you down, for the lies you told yourself, for the tribe who ganged up against you, it does not matter, your list is your own. It could be the things you thought you’d make happen but haven’t, the project or plans which never materialised. Simply acknowledge where they are now. No judgment. These are very things we carry without realising.
Scribble it all down. Then thank On High, God, Source, for every bit on that list. Go through it one by one. Place your hands on your heart, and declare, ‘I now through Divine and Unconditional love let go All, my past, and beyond. The seen and unseen. Through Divine Grace and Unconditional love, I accept All, my life and myself – (despite my discomfort and fear). Within me is a Sacred fire that is never extinguished, I now call upon this light to bathe me from the inside out.’ Close your eyes and visualise the light all around your body and energy field. ‘I am a Sacred Being, & So it is.’ Repeat this as many times as you see fit or until you feel lighter. (Feel free to ad-hoc on the wording).
2018 beckons a radical change to our collective and personal structures. The Full Super Moon on the 2nd January 2.24 am GMT falls in Cancer – its element being water. A very feminine energy to nurture one’s soul. Good time to shed anything, grieve for any losses and or endings. Time to seek all with heart. Healthy new beginnings cannot be built on old ideas and outmoded ways of being. It’s like building a boat with rotted wood. It’s not going to sail far.
- Undo what you can to change what needs to be changed. Build whatever your heart and mind know to be true for you. This is what the energy is calling us to do. Claim it and live it!
- Burn your lists or sheets of paper into a fire pit of some kind and be free of the old.
- Set your intentions, goals, and resolutions before the Full Moon begins to wane. Get on with the business of formulating what needs to be done and begin to live a life step by step of what you envision. Do not back down, stay the course and aligned with what you know to be true for you.
How do you know? Because it will feel like it and your inner guidance or GPS (Guidance Protective Squad) will tell you so. Trust it. When we begin to trust the guidance, either way, it will get you where you destined to be.
You must be there for yourself. Remind yourself that every journey begins with a single step. The digits of 2018 added together calls on the numerological value of 11. A master number. This year we have the opportunity to build on our Creativity, Cooperation, building Confidence and our Inner gifts which lead us to Abundance and Power. It is also a time when we will want to and have an inner drive to say ‘enough is enough’ be it on a collective front and risk shattering our patterns and any self-sabotaging limitations.
To me, wholeness is the key to aliveness. It is more than just physical strength. It is radiance, coming from being at one with yourself and experience. Life then flows through you and radiates from you. – Richard Moss, How I Shall Live
Use this time well and it will reward you for all your work. You will be amazed at the vitality and vibrancy of living can conjure up.
Go in Spirit, Namaste,
May your Scared Path shine and be known. So it is.
© Rafah Sabbagh 2017
If you are having any issues with this article in your life, do contact me for a private session or sessions. I offer bespoke sessions according to your needs and concerns. I also suggest relationship coaching, with or without your partner. We are moving into a period of inner work and healing. I offer Lifescript™ Energy Series; Every Day Alchemist™
If you are moved for an in-depth and life-changing transformational work. Alternatively, I offer Life Guidance Coaching, Readings and anything around relationships. for Further details, Contact.
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