What kind of life do you really want?

Our surroundings are in shades of grey right now, as if through a viewing frame there is a disparity between what we want, where we want to be and to where we are. The time of darkness and the underworld of recognising where our healing needs to occur, where our duality can no longer exist, where the compromises we set ourselves is crying out for attention and recognition.

The light is being shed, within the darkness. Illuminating areas up of old conditioning and layers upon layers. You might say ‘what more?’ It may feel like a repeat, rest assured we are evolving.

Like sheep we have been moulded to be, conditioned by the old paradigm of the patriarch to be submissive, – I speak mainly of women here, to be the carers of men’s dysfunction, the carriers of biased, wounded behaviour which bit by bit is beginning to crack, expose its double-faced agendas. The hidden is being revealed, unmasking what we must see, and where healing must happen. We have started to see this in the #metoo movement. But closer to home the veils are lifting, what has been shaded is being revealed, and we ALL must go through this passage right now.

Suddenly like a giant spotlight, we can see our patterns clearly, or recognise that we have been here before. The same old loop, what we do to love, be loved and how we control our loving, all codependent behaviours by the way, and I can fiercely say nobody is indeed opted out of this or exempt before you go pointing fingers or separating yourself from thinking ‘oh, that’s only for those that go out with addicts, junkies, alcoholics. These are typical symptoms of one, whether you are or support one rest assured there many covert types. There is a vast line of forms of co-dependence. It is the fact that we have all been raised male or female within the patriarchal paradigm. It is also not a time of judgement, self or otherwise, but acceptance and self-acceptance. There is nothing to fix. But to recognise how we are is not serving us anymore.

Just imagine watching a movie of yourself and life. Just observe what you are seeing, feeling and thinking. What you no longer can tolerate. There is the clue. The nugget of gold. If you are too being stressed, overthinking things, it will mess with your mind with pressure, guilt and make the passage into a brighter time more difficult. The solution can’t all be worked out on one go. Take the first step and make your boundaries and values clear. You know what is important to you.

How you manage that is up to you, WE all have a choice. When you are caught with being busy busy and worrying about what you must look like or what others say, think or do, its an awkward stance to be in. You won’t have any grounding. Very important to connect to your soul and source energy.

Start with the root chakra, imagine colour red, sacral, orange, where all our relating issues stem from and into the solar plexus your core, fire and power the colour yellow around the abdomen. These are three key players right now people, women and men are being called to heal, their inner child or engage in psycho-spiritual healing modalities and it is the only way to cut through the old conditioning. Therapy by itself, I hate to say, will not. That’s from the traditional cerebral healing, and a synergetic approach is called for this time for the shifting that needs to occur. Not to mention the conventional western therapies will take much longer. Everyday Alchemist & Chakra Work

E.g. Notice how your lover or anyone is unconsciously controlling you to love him or her, to be loved, gain prestige, whatever to sustain its outer veneer their ego and wounding.

You are being called to question which path will you follow? Your soul will not fail you, nor lie. Only your mind will hijack you with fear, what ifs, and what will happen if I do…..?

So which do you choose? The Evolutionary or the Superficial?

Can you muster your courage and do what’s right by what you know to be true deep down in your core? For you to grown and expand. Or are you going to be held hostage by deep-seated fears, values that are not yours?

We are to be Sacred Rebels. To disengage in behaviours that are not supportive, nor nourishing and to remove ourselves from the bindings of our past patterns. Odious beliefs and habits seeped generation after generation, breaking the links that bind us, old stories from our childhood conditioning, where our innocence has been tainted by the need to survive, to protect ourselves and maybe our siblings, to nourish who weren’t capable of wholly sustaining us, from birth and into our formative years.

The child in all its innocence moulded by the unhealed woundings of the mother and father line, society, culture – our clean light broken and darkened, feelings of unworthiness, ‘not allowed to be me’, projected in all forms from family to culture. Not good to enough to be cared for, abandoned over another sibling, whatever your story or background we all have one, some harsher than others, nevertheless, healing our mind/bodies, our life, our surroundings is what is needed now.

I love watching movies, and find it interesting how there is much voice around the biases of men and women as topics or the things that women must endure to have her place in her world, to what it cost her historically -There are heroines and those that paved the way for us. This is how we must see it. And of course in modern lives. We are all on our heroes and heroines journey.

I watched The Wife last in the movie theatre and it is an excellent example of hidden talent and brilliance of a woman, The Wife, played by Glenn Close in a duty and fear bound relationship where her genius clashes with that of her husbands, where she was too afraid to lose her young love to outshining him. My heart was pounding as we see her wanting to explode and expose this facade of her husband winning the Noble Prize of Outstanding writing over the years and all along, she had been the author of those books. It’s uncomfortable to watch for both sexes. In parts, it mirrors the writer’s written story so its painfully and deliberately drawn out. Its rife with her also playing the dutiful wife by his side, taking care of his needs, medication, clothing, packing, his fears, his neurosis, yikes!!! I mean its like men have not been raised to take care of themselves. Women fall for these such deeply ingrained roles as carers and nurturer. Often to the detriment of her self and creative expression. Her authentic self.

Another film that highlights this ‘breaking out’ theme is a Netflix film called Nappily. I found it to a brilliant current example, of the awakening that is happening collectively. The main character raised to believe that she is only beautiful in having straight hair – a projection imbued by her mother. The thing is she black therefore and her hair naturally super fizzy. Here we see where the mother with all good intentions purposes affects young child’s perception of herself and life. You can imagine what happens to her as she grows into her mid-20’s- 30’s. How many mothers and fathers have projected their idea of perfectionism, expectations and fucked up standards? I won’t be a spoiler. It is an enjoyable film to see in terms the journey she takes to find herself. The topic of the film is universal and across many cultures.

Whatever the theme pertains to you, issues in our lives are personal, and this inner evolutionary stance must be made for us to affect the outer.

Self-reliance, self-acceptance and confidence are all qualities we need to call on. Call on the divine courage to help you through as you grow, through the cracks of yourself. The journey is not going to be comfortable. It can be taken as a great opportunity to be catapulted to where you need to go. We are being called to give birth to ourselves, soon. The dark time of the moon is a time for healing and seeing our subconscious clearer.

We are still in labour, that said some are already feeling the squeeze, but it is not time yet. Be patient with any exterior changes you are creating, in the differences in what you don’t recognise because we are trying out something new for size, for change, and for that to happen we have to let go of the old forms as we know it.

In personal relationships, this can be really hard as we are so used to what we have been, accepted, despite its discomfort over a period and re-occurrence. Here is where Nappily is brilliant in conceptualising the metamorphosis of the main character through her hair!

Relationships are being highlighted as we are relational beings and the skies are dancing to reconfigure our Divine masculine and our Divine Feminine. An imminent time for the empowerment of the Divine Feminine.
This dark passage must be undergone to come to light. If you resist this, it will linger and make it all the more painful. You do not need to be a victim, where you are operating out of the wounding, therefore blame, but recognising that you are feeling, seeing and experiencing is a call from the deepest part of yourself that knows. Unconditional or self-love as it is referred to is Love not about finding love but owning that Love to ourselves. Do not mistake that by engaging woo woo love ( Cosmic wow man we are all one), as a form of the mystic lover, that means you put up with crappy behaviour and abuse as a way to spread higher love, as so many healers and empaths think and do. Oh no. Most could tell you that they are divine magnets to them. You are love itself, and while some live from the wounded healer archetype the men in our lives have served our development and growth on a soul level, and that’s it!

During the Venus retrograde in Scorpio/Libra and squared by Pluto the transformer, it is forcing us to transmute the shit as fertiliser for new growth in areas of relating in our partnerships, creativity, business, family, work, money and balancing out what is out of balance – Libra New Moon GMT 4.46 am London. Venus themes also to do with esteem, values, relationships, justice, Co-dependence, balance, conscious choices, reciprocal relating, intimacy are all up for scrutiny.

Enter the silence of your mind, go out in nature, do all things that can bring nourishment to yourself. Bathe in candlelight, draw the curtains, retreat if you need to, take time out, create a boundary so you can give yourself that, YOU MUST. Especially if you share spaces with others in your home or living environment. Go for a nature bath, go for a walk, by the river, or an open space if you can access one. Shed tears you need to, and at the 48-hour energy window of the New Moon in Libra, a genuinely potent time of transformation, create a fire burning ceremony.

Many are afraid, confused and feel stuck. Write out what you want to let go. List it all out. Your pain, what you no longer will allow. Anything, which has meaning to you. Burn it all. Scrutinise and fine comb your life. Put it all in your cauldron, – an empty fireproof container will do. And intention away all that has no use for you. Let go in the totality of trust.

Then set intentions for what you need. It could be to have the clarity to your problem; it could be to vocalise what you are feeling, to have the courage to do so, to stand your ground and hold onto your power, not to waver from what you need to do. This could be about drawing the line with your partner, place of work, colleague, sibling anything that has you out of integrity. It may be a boss who frequently is uncivil to you, or being around people you do not want to be and or in an environment that longer has its appeal.

Stay calm, spend time with what you enjoy, disengage from anything which does not fit your vibration and stop putting up with it. You will know what I am talking about. Whatever makes sense to you. We will get through this cycle, and as the saying goes, whatever doesn’t kill you will make you stronger. Talk through it if you need to a trusted therapist, coach or friend, or even with your partner as long as they are not the ones with significant issues or can not handle the truth. Remember you are both on a growth journey. Be on your own when you need to, close the door on unnecessaries, unplug from FB or too much stimulation.

Whether embracing your Divine Feminine is being topless and half-naked on the hills, pole dancing, rising above problems, becoming self-reliant, or just saying no more! Taking care of yourself. Standing up to your boss and say fuck it! It is all good.

We are maturing. We are self-creating a new life through the mystical alchemical fire of integration of opposites, of our old stories and regenerating to our own Divine perfection, centredness and expansion.
Just remember though to do not hurry the process it will be all apparent in its own good time as nature displays and it will organically birth itself. Hard for some, as we are doing machines wanting results and pushing is the order of the patriarch system. Not this time. Be the wise woman, empress, wait the gestation out, naturally and listen to your internal core.

Merely go moment by moment leaving the perfectionist and control to Grace.
“I now surrender all that is no longer mine and has no place in my life.
Make way make for the sacred in my life, help me to love myself unconditionally, shield me from any storms or the unexpected that may be ahead. Let my voice and soul carry its truth without fear as I move into my grand awakening. So it is”.

Let’s life magic unfold before your senses. Witness the changes be it physical or psychological resulting in releasing the energetic patterns which have you hostage to undesirable conditions. In working with the chakras LIFESCRIPT ENERGY SERIES loosening the hold of your inner child wounding – you will live life freer, filled with truth, heart and healed.

© Rafah Sabbagh 2018


If you are having any issues with this article in your life do contact me for a private session or sessions. I offer bespoke sessions according to your needs and issues. I also offer relationship coaching, with or without your partner.

Copyright (c) 2018 by Rafah Sabbagh. All rights reserved. You may quote, copy, translate and link to this article, in its entirety, on free, non-donation based websites only, as long as you include the author name and a working link back to this website. All other uses are strictly prohibited.

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