What kind of life do you really want?

Our surroundings are in shades of grey right now, as if through a viewing frame there is a disparity between what we want, where we want to be and where we are. The time of the New Year 2023 is dawning but unlike most New Years this one is not the time to go charging forward but live through the fog and the underworld of recognising where our healing needs to occur, where our duality can no longer exist, where the compromises we set ourselves is crying out for attention and recognition. Be it at work, in your personal life or what has meaning to you.

The light is being shed, within the darkness. Illuminating areas up of old conditioning and layers upon layers. You might say ‘what more?’ It may feel like a repeat, but rest assured we are evolving. You will find that there is much noise out there, verbally, and through social media. If you can push it all out and carve a time of incubation it will serve you well.

Avoid neurotics at all costs. The sky map currently is heightening the energy and chances are you could be bumping against those who operate out of their wounds.

Like sheep we have been moulded to be, conditioned by the old paradigm of the patriarch to be submissive, – I speak mainly of women here, to be the carers of men’s dysfunction, over-functioning,  the carriers of biased, wounded behaviour which bit by bit is beginning to crack, expose its double-faced agendas. The hidden is being revealed, unmasking what we must see, and where healing must happen. We started to see this in the #metoo movement back in 2018. But closer to home the veils are lifting, what has been shaded is being revealed, and we ALL must go through this passage right now. The planets’ line-up also affected by Chiron in Aries – is bringing home the reality of our core woundings.

Suddenly like a giant spotlight, we can see our patterns clearly, or recognise that we have been here before. The same old loop, what we do to love, be loved and how we control our loving, all codependent behaviours by the way, and I can fiercely say nobody is indeed opted out of this or exempt before you go pointing fingers or separating yourself from thinking ‘oh, that’s only for those that go out with addicts, junkies, alcoholics. These are typical symptoms of one, whether you are or support one rest assured there many covert types. There is a vast form of co-dependence. It is a fact that we have all been raised male or female within the patriarchal paradigm. It is also not a time of judgement, self or otherwise, but acceptance and self-acceptance and to recognise how we are behaving is not serving us anymore.

Just imagine watching a movie about yourself and life. Just observe what you are seeing, feeling and thinking. What you no longer can tolerate. There is the clue. The nugget of gold. If you are too stressed and overthinking things, it will mess with your mind with pressure, and guilt and make the passage into a brighter time more difficult. The solution can’t all be worked out in one go. Take the first step and make your boundaries and values clear. You know what is important to you.

How you manage that is up to you, WE all have a choice. When you are caught being busy busy and worrying about what you must look like or what others say, think or do, its an awkward stance to be in. You won’t have any grounding. Very important to connect to your soul and source energy.

Start with the root chakra, imagine colours red, sacral, and orange, where all our relationship issues stem from and into the solar plexus of your core, fire and power the colour yellow around the abdomen. These are three key players right now people, women and men are being called to heal, their inner child or engage in psycho-spiritual healing modalities and it is the only way to cut through the old conditioning. Therapy by itself, I hate to say, will not. That’s from the traditional cerebral healing, and a synergetic approach is called for this time for the shifting that needs to occur. Not to mention conventional western therapies will take much longer. Everyday Alchemist & Chakra Work

E.g. Notice how your lover or anyone is unconsciously controlling you to love him or her, to be loved, gain prestige, whatever to sustain the outer veneer of their ego and wounding.

You are being called to question which path will you follow. Your soul will not fail you, nor lie. Only your mind will hijack you with fear, what ifs, and what will happen if I do…..?

So which do you choose? The Evolutionary or the Superficial?

Can you muster your courage and do what’s right by what you know to be true deep down in your core? For you to grow and expand. Or are you going to be held hostage by deep-seated fears, and values that are not yours?

We are to be Sacred Rebels. To disengage in behaviours that are not supportive, nor nourishing and to remove ourselves from the bindings of our past patterns. Odious beliefs and habits seeped generation after generation, breaking the links that bind us, old stories from our childhood conditioning, where our innocence has been tainted by the need to survive, to protect ourselves and maybe our siblings, to nourish those who weren’t capable of wholly sustaining us, from birth and into our formative years.

The child in all its innocence is moulded by the unhealed woundings of the mother and father line, society, and culture – our clean light broken and darkened, feelings of unworthiness, ‘not allowed to be me’, projected in all forms from family to culture. Not good enough to be cared for, abandoned over another sibling, whatever your story or background we all have one, some harsher than others, nevertheless, healing our minds/bodies, our life, and our surroundings is what is needed now.

I love watching movies, and find it interesting how there is much voice around the biases of men and women as topics or the things that women must endure to have their place in her world, to what it cost her historically -There are heroines and those that paved the way for us. This is how we must see it. And of course in modern lives. We are all on our hero’s and heroine’s journeys.

I watched The Wife last in the movie theatre and it is an excellent example of the hidden talent and brilliance of a woman, The Wife, played by Glenn Close in a duty and fear-bound relationship where her genius clashes with that of her husband, where she was too afraid to lose her young love to outshine him. My heart was pounding as we see her wanting to explode and expose this facade of her husband winning the Noble Prize for Outstanding writing over the years and all along, she had been the author of those books. It’s uncomfortable to watch for both sexes. In parts, it mirrors the writer’s written story so it’s painfully and deliberately drawn out. It’s rife with her also playing the dutiful wife by his side, taking care of his needs, medication, clothing, packing, his fears, his neurosis, yikes!!! I mean it’s like men have not been raised to take care of themselves. Women fall for these deeply ingrained roles as carers and nurturers. Often to the detriment of her self and creative expression. Her authentic self.

Another film that highlights this ‘breaking out’ theme is a Netflix film called Nappily. I found it to be a brilliant current example, of the awakening that is happening collectively. The main character was raised to believe that she is only beautiful in having straight hair – a projection imbued by her mother. The thing is she black therefore and her hair naturally super fizzy. Here we see where the mother with all good intentions and purposes affects a young child’s perception of herself and life. You can imagine what happens to her as she grows into her mid-20s- 30’s. How many mothers and fathers have projected their idea of perfectionism, expectations and fucked up standards? I won’t be a spoiler. It is an enjoyable film to see in terms of the journey she takes to find herself. The topic of the film is universal and across many cultures.

Whatever the theme pertains to you, issues in our lives are personal, and this inner evolutionary stance must be made for us to affect the outer.

Self-reliance, self-acceptance and confidence are all qualities we need to call on. Call on the divine courage to help you through as you grow, through the cracks of yourself. The journey is not going to be comfortable. It can be taken as a great opportunity to be catapulted to where you need to go. Keep a journal for your own sanity. Probably not the best time to get support from friends as they will be going through their own pile of shite.

The communication pathway will feel quite intense, so be mindful of whom you talk to and or confide in.

We are still in labour, that said some are already feeling the squeeze, but it is not time yet. Be patient with any exterior changes you are creating or want to create.

In personal relationships, this can be really hard as we are so used to what we have been, accepted, despite its discomfort over a period and re-occurrence. Here is where Nappily is brilliant in conceptualising the metamorphosis of the main character through her hair!

Relationships are being highlighted as we are relational beings and the skies are dancing to reconfigure our Divine masculine and our Divine Feminine. An imminent time for the empowerment of the Divine Feminine.

This dark passage must be undergone to come to light. If you resist this, it will linger and make it all the more painful. You do not need to be a victim, where you are operating out of the wounding, therefore blame, but recognising that you are feeling, seeing and experiencing is a call from the deepest part of yourself that knows. Unconditional or self-love as it is referred to is Love not about finding love but owning that Love to ourselves. Do not mistake that by engaging woo-woo love ( Cosmic wow man we are all one), as a form of the mystic lover, that means you put up with crappy behaviour and abuse as a way to spread higher love, as so many healers and empaths think and do. Oh no. Most could tell you that they are divine magnets to them. You are love itself, and while some live from the wounded healer archetype the men in our lives have served our development and growth on a soul level, and that’s it!

Enter the silence of your mind, go out in nature, and do all things that can bring nourishment to yourself. Bathe in candlelight, draw the curtains, retreat if you need to, take time out, and create a boundary so you can give yourself that, YOU MUST. Especially if you share spaces with others in your home or living environment. Go for a nature bath, go for a walk, by the river, or an open space if you can access one. Shed tears you need to, but use this time as we come to the end of the year, a genuinely potent time of shifting into transformation, to create a fire-burning ceremony.

Many are afraid, confused and feel stuck. Write out what you want to let go of. List it all out. Your pain, what you no longer will allow. Anything, which has meaning to you. Burn it all. Scrutinise and fine-comb your life. Put it all in your cauldron, – an empty fireproof container will do. And intention away all that has no use for you. Let go in the totality of trust.

Then set intentions for what you need. It could be to have the clarity to your problem; direction: it could be to vocalise what you are feeling, to have the courage to do so, to stand your ground and hold onto your power, not to waver from what you need to do. This could be about drawing the line with your partner, place of work, colleague, sibling anything that has you out of integrity. It may be a boss who frequently is uncivil to you, or being around people who chose not to engage in adult communication, festering in projections, – people who chose to undermine your intelligence or simply can’t help but macro manage,( over-functioners who then turn the table to victimhood). Anyone you do not want to be around and may need to draw clear boundaries, and or in an environment that longer has its appeal.

Stay calm, spend time with what you enjoy, disengage from anything which does not fit your vibration and stop putting up with it. You will know what I am talking about. Whatever makes sense to you. We will get through this cycle, and as the saying goes, whatever doesn’t kill you will make you stronger.

Talk through it if you need to, to a trusted therapist, coach some capable of holding space and or can remain neutral. You may confide in a friend or your partner, as long as they are not the ones with significant issues or can not handle the truth. Remember you are both on a growth journey. Be on your own when you need to, close the door on unnecessaries, and unplug from FB and or too much external stimulation.

Whether embracing your Divine Feminine is being topless and half-naked on the hills, pole dancing, rising above problems, becoming self-reliant, or just saying no more! Taking care of yourself. Standing up to your boss and saying fuck it! It is all good.

We are maturing. We are self-creating a new life through the mystical alchemical fire of integration of opposites, of our old stories and regenerating to our own Divine perfection, centredness and expansion. Just remember though to not hurry the process it will be all apparent in its own good time as nature displays and it will organically birth itself. We will rise. Hard for some, as we are doing machines wanting results, setting goals, and running out the gate and pushing is the order of the patriarch system, which now is slowly but surely losing its form.

Be the wise person, wait for this period to out naturally and listen to your internal core. The tide of energy will change soon enough and we will be redirected.

Merely go moment by moment leaving the perfectionist and control to Grace.
“I now surrender all that is no longer mine and has no place in my life.
Make way make for the sacred in my life, help me to love myself unconditionally, and shield me from any storms or the unexpected that may be ahead. Let my voice and soul carry its truth without fear as I move into my grand awakening. So it is”.

Let life magic unfold before your senses. Witness the changes be they physical or psychological resulting in releasing the energetic patterns which have you, hostage, to undesirable conditions. In working with the chakras LIFESCRIPT ENERGY SERIES loosening the hold of your inner child wounding – you will live life freer, filled with truth, heart, and healed.

© Rafah Sabbagh 2018/2022


If you are having any issues with this article in your life do contact me for a private session or sessions. I offer bespoke sessions according to your needs and issues. I also offer relationship coaching, with or without your partner.

Copyright (c) 2018 by Rafah Sabbagh. All rights reserved. You may quote, copy, translate and link to this article, in its entirety, on free, non-donation-based websites only, as long as you include the author’s name and a working link back to this website. All other uses are strictly prohibited.

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