We convince by our presence – Walt Whitman
The energies of the skies at this time asks of us to take courage and genuinely look at the imbalances in our lives particularly in our relationships. Many stays in one-sided relationships, ones that are thoroughly compromised, one that offers some slavery, one that forever takes and those that invoke childish tantrums to get its way.
How is it then that a can relationship thrives in such foul play? The key word here is to THRIVE.
Yes, many SURVIVE abuse, passive aggression, lies, tantrums, inequality, and at the bottom, there is a woman who feels unworthy. A woman who somehow hasn’t learnt the art of self-worthiness, the art of total love for self, a woman who is prey to the patriarchal thinking and constructs of love.
The kept woman, who has no income of her own as she has sacrificed her life, herself for security or now trapped in one; the woman who casts a blind eye to her philandering man; the woman who serially dates and finally marries a man equally besotted by her, to claim her ‘rightful’ ownership security and material equality; the woman who patiently awaits her man night after after night of his return from the pub, just so he can unwind. Hey, I guess if you want a man who is half cut all the time then you shortchanged yourself. Because quite frankly it’s not ok.
Why is it that no matter how much women have claimed their Lives, Power, Independence and Awareness do we still swim against our truth? All these women are beautiful, incredible, smart, creative, and principled.
The Super Full Moon in Taurus will be highlighting these defects very well. The SUPER MOON will be shining its light into the shadows of our wounds and unresolved story. Relationships that exist in imbalances will be particularly stretched and marked at this time.
It is time to alchemise ourselves, every day. To become discerning in our choices, so we are fully aligned with our spiritual intentions. We are spiritual beings. You don’t get to be holy by praying or meditating. YOU ARE SPIRITUAL already! Making choices from this place aligns us and empowers us. It raises our vibrations so we can be congruent with our values.
Where am I noticing where I have deviated from my values?
Our values changes as we develop and evolve. Whether we are aware of it not, we hold in our spirit, inherent core values. LOVE is one. But how can we possibly know what that is if along the way our early education at home did not mirror that deep unconditional love?
We are all on this path to relearn this. However, in the meantime, wisdom teaches us that we must accept all of our selves and in another. Any challenge is merely an opportunity to claim our sovereignty.
Take a moment now into your notebook, a jot down what is important, to you. We all have different preferences and desires. That is what makes us unique. All are contributing to our soul growth. So what is important to you and you love doing or being?
- Can it be you prefer to be outdoors in nature working out rather than a gym?
- Do you prefer home cooked meals and an elegant bottle of wine rather than a trendy restaurant bar as social evening being your partner? Or like to be taken out but daren’t say so, or continually dismiss the idea of that, so you don’t aggravate your man?
- Do you always put others needs first over yours?
- Do you feel the need to respond to people’s request put your time or plans on hold to accommodate them?
- Do you show up at an event even though you don’t agree with it or know that it’s not your bag but go anyway, so it looks right?
Many examples are unique to us but what I am getting here is that we need to make decisions and make choices based on OUR truth be it lifestyle or the people we choose to work for, be with, and or hang around.
Many relationships are based on not aligning the values before people consummate their relationship. As if speaking about it is unromantic or improper. Guess what you will save your self a lot of grief by doing so. If you are already coupled and merged in a relationship, but your values are NOT matching, it will never work. You will always suffer, deep in yourself. You can’t and will not plaster over what you do not like or agree with time and time again. And again this is down to your values. This goes for anything or anyone.
Many partners wake up, along the way, because they can see there is a vast disparity between what they believed in, or desire to what they are not receiving.
I don’t keep friends that are non-reciprocal, one-sided, abusive, and indeed won’t work for any client or anyone who is mean and offensive, or a bully.
I get to choose my experiences and my life. If I find myself in a situation that does not match my values or an employer or manager of a club, or anywhere, where I experience rudeness, or indifference, while I will not take their actions personally, I won’t invest my time, creativity or resources in that direction. End of. My choice.
Last year I served in jury service at the Crown Courts I got meet some wonderful folks in my jury ‘team’ and some amazing women. One thing I was shocked by the various tales of abuse and bully behaviour they ‘had’ to put up with by their male employers. Please note I am NOT a male basher or hater. NO.
I am just very clear what I will allow in and not allow. I was not like this all my life. Quite the contrary. In fact, I had to relearn to love myself from the inside out. I am still a work in progress. But I am fierce and will take no bullshit. I am truthful and will stand up for what I believe in. I will self-enquire, change my ways, whatever it takes. I will cut through to the truth of the matter, into its core.
The more you and I do this, the more we can take care of our needs and self. The better our lives and the world will be. But we also have to balance our paradoxes and polarities within our nature.
We need to look at our shadow and transform into our soul development. It doesn’t matter how old it is. Often layers upon layers of unconscious ways of being that we adopted as we grew up. To survive, we formed a protective strategy that worked. PAST TENSE.
I commented to my love the other day that I notice that time and time again I do things or go down a path that I KNOW that I don’t care for or better still for clarity, is not FULLY ALIGNED to my core.
Each time, oh yes, I end up undoing the doing. It’s that fine line of rational vs welching on my truth. Ultimately.
What I have found is, it inevitably bites you on the ass. NOT always a severe bite but still…
When we don’t listen to our inner instinct and or spiritual nudges, we learn this through our family and extended family, those we let in that are not our blood tie. They gift us to see where our lives need to be tempered, balanced, aligned and course corrected. We are given daily opportunities to deal with anyone who crosses our path. It could be an unhelpful shop assistant, a car that cuts in on us, a member of staff or colleague who is full of anxiety, fragility and or strife. All of these, are never about us so that we can move through without fear, blame or self-abdication.
It is difficult sometimes, especially when you have trusted those you have invested in. But they are ALL playing a part in a more significant spiritual movie. This Full Moon will be very clearly highlighting this. It does not mean you stay. NO. Or remain in a passive position of not communicating or moving on.
It means you have a choice, to inspire and motivate others to face challenges from a greater sense of being.
When we integrate our values with our truth, we will always come on top. It doesn’t matter if the picture is ugly, and I know it can be painful while the debris of the breakdown happens. But the dust will settle. Time is a great mover. At least eventually. Self-forgiveness and a bit of humour will also shift things into perspective.
Time to dig deep and see where things need to go, and what needs to change. You have the right to say NO. It does not matter what to, and whom. Honour yourself, maintain your inner peace, fill your outer sphere with a protective flame and around your heart chakra and keep those out who need to stay out, maintaining that only those with unconditionally loving vibrations are allowed into your energy field.
See what happens.
We are moving into a period of inner work and healing. I offer Lifescript™ Energy Series; Every Day Alchemist™
Alternatively, I offer Life Guidance Coaching, Readings and anything around relationships. for Further details see Contact.
We can only truly love ourselves when we integrate and synergise our dark and light. Rather than shoving it, hiding it away, we need to be vulnerable and show up as we are. Tell it how it is. Our life is an art form. We get to integrate in a way that is whole and balanced. This is what Full Moon asks of us.
I am an integrated individual and allow to shine in my life creatively.
© Rafah Sabbagh 2017
If you are having any issues with this article in your life, do contact me for a private session or sessions. I offer bespoke courses according to your needs and concerns. I also suggest relationship coaching, with or without your partner.
Copyright (c) 2017 by Rafah Sabbagh. All rights reserved. You may quote, copy, translate and link to this article, in its entirety, on free, non-donation based websites only, as long as you include the author name and a working link back to this website. All other uses are strictly prohibited.