Better out than in?

Dear Rafah,

My husband rarely takes me out to a restaurant and frequently argues that we eat much better at home and drink better wines than we would be able to afford from some ‘overly marked-up wine list’. I Suppose there is much truth in that, but it’s always me who does the cooking, while he merely opens then decants the wine. What can I do to get him to see that eating out can be fun and not to think only about the bill? I have tried off course to discuss this, but my husband laughs it off.

Rafah Says:

What a stuffy man! Look at him straight in the eye, and state, ‘I need you to take me out for dinner. We need to do this every week, at least once if not twice’. Then see what he says…

If he does not respond or laughs it off again, insist that this is very important to you, and it would make you happy. If a man is too much of a self-centred man and does not recognise his wife’s value and wishes, I’m afraid you have married the wrong kind for you. You do not mention at the time of your courtship, whether he wooed you with taking you out for dinner or not. If he didn’t attempt to do so, then quite frankly you have set yourself up to a man who never saw it as a prerogative to take a woman out and agreed to marry him anyhow, and you can’t expect to change him now that you are married.

You sound very married in that you have been married a while.

I mean when I was out on the field so to speak, and dated, if a guy wanted to go Dutch after he invited me out, I would end it there and then. I knew what I wanted and I wanted a man who was happy to take his woman out. That is what I have. He loves taking me out, despite my cooking foods better than most places we eat out. To him, it’s not an issue. As with spending money on good wines in or out!

Back to you now.

That being the case, do not cook dinner, then get all dressed up, set the table with a candle lit, for when he returns, and wait for him to decant his wine or pop a bottle open. When he turns around and asks you, ‘honey what is for dinner?

Just smile demurely and say, ‘the kitchen is closed tonight’. Get ready to take yourself out. If he chooses to join you, make sure it’s only on the condition that he pays and has fun. No complaining.

If you sense that it will not be the case, then take your lovely self out. There are plenty of eateries around Norwich where you come from, and let yourself have fun. If you must, join a supper club night or set one up, on Meet up near your area, and you’ll be amazed how many people you can have fun with and into the same idea. Don’t wait for your husband to take you out, set an example, he might not be able to resist you anyhow following you bold actions.

That will show him that you do not intend to be a pushover. Let me know how it goes.

Bon Appetite.

© Rafah Sabbagh 2017

Footnote.

If you are having any issues with this article in your life do contact me for a private session or sessions. I offer bespoke sessions according to your needs and issues. I also offer Transformational Couple Life Guidance for any couple who wish to work on there problems or issues together as an opportunity to evolve and grow together.

Copyright (c) 2017 by Rafah Sabbagh. All rights reserved. You may quote, copy, translate and link to this article, in its entirety, on free, non-donation based websites only, as long as you include the author’s name and a working link back to this website. All other uses are strictly prohibited.

 

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